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Ethos: establishing your credibility by discussing your personal, professional, and academic experience/knowledge of the topic.

1. Ethos: establishing your credibility by discussing your personal, professional, and academic experience/knowledge of the topic.

2. Pathos: appealing to the reader’s emotions by using word choice that can elicit the feeling you want.

3. Logos: using logic and reasoning to support/prove your opinion, specifically through deductive and inductive reasoning.

4. Counter-argument: a dedicated paragraph (or more, depending on your argument) that explains and refutes the counter-argument to your argument.

5. Academic Essay Structure: the essay should have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that follows the structures we discussed in class.

6. Adios Techniques: for this draft the Adios techniques to include are Anecdoting, Freighting (Verb, Noun, Adjective), Telescoping (Zooming, Panning), Very Short Sentence, Melted-together Word, Hieroglyphics (Semi-colon, Colon, Dash, Parentheses), Super-literalism, Bursting (only ONE of the following: Mocking, Devil’s Advice, Trojan Horse).

ADIOS ADDITIONS: Echoing (ONE technique), Netting (ONE technique), and Masquerading (ONE technique)

I got F, I was trying to explain why Venezuelan should migrated to Peru.
THIS IS THE COMMENT OF MY PROFESSOR

Paragraph1:

The thesis is great, but put it at the very end of the intro (i.e. it should be the LAST sentence of the intro). The rest of the intro, however, needs more development. You do NOT fully explain the situation in Venezuela and you do NOT include an appeal to Ethos.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:30pm
Paragraph2:

This first body paragraph doesn’t really seem to begin supporting the thesis, as it should be doing. If anything, it seems to be general info about the situation in Venezuela. As I mentioned in the previous comment, this should be discussed in the introduction.

Super-literalism is incorrect.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:33pm
Paragraph3:

The purpose of this paragraph is unclear. Again, each body paragraph should be developing/supporting one of the reasons from the thesis. This one is NOT. It is just talking about Peru being a popular destination for Venezuelans.

Semicolon is incorrect.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:35pm
Paragraph4:

Was this supposed to be a Counter-argument paragraph? It is very confusing. A Counter-argument paragraph is supposed to bring up the Counter-argument, explain it fully, and then DISPROVE it. The last part especially you do NOT do.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:36pm
Paragraph5:

Is this supposed to be the part that disproves the Counter-argument. Very unclear. It’s in a new paragraph, so I am unsure if it is connected or not.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:38pm
Paragraph6:

Again, the purpose of this paragraph is very unclear. What exactly is it supposed to be doing?

Zooming and Anecdoting are incorrect.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:39pm
Paragraph7, Paragraph8, Paragraph9, Paragraph10, Paragraph11:

Were all of these paragraphs combined supposed to be the Anecdote? It is very unclear what the purpose of these paragraphs is and how exactly they are helping prove the thesis.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:42pm
Paragraph12:

This is the first paragraph you have that seems to actually support the thesis. It gives reasons as to why Venezuelans should move to Peru for a better life. But, the main idea you state in the topic sentence of the paragraph is not the only focus of the paragraph. You lose focus and talk about other ideas that should probably be discussed more fully in a separate paragraph.

Also, for the ideas that do relate to the topic sentence, you do NOT actually fully explain/discuss them. They need much more development.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:45pm
Paragraph13:

This is not a proper conclusion. You need to restate the thesis of the essay, your main supporting ideas for the thesis, and you need to develop Pathos to elicit emotion from the reader.

The Adios techniques here are incorrect.
Nunzio Lazzara , Apr 10 at 1:46pm
Overall Comments:

The essay have many issues. Many of the body paragraphs are confusing or unclear. You don’t really support/prove the thesis in the body paragraphs, as they are supposed to be doing. You only do it towards the end of the essay, but, even then, the ideas are unfocused and NOT fully developed.