PLS go through and fix everything that needs fix in paper I highlighted most of the things.
Youve clearly put a lot of work into this, and your sources are excellent. You have a lot of work to do for your final draft, however.
Heres what I need for a final draft:
Clearly state your thesis up front. Ensure its appropriately scoped. I couldnt identify your thesis, but I suspect its vastly too broad.
Cut everything that does not directly advance your argument. Youll need to cut a lot of fluff and irrelevancies.
Do not make declarative statements (X is Y) without providing evidence backed with appropriate citations. You do this a lot.